All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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