so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
