shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Text me some of your sweat
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
