Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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