Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So vagazzling was a success
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
