Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
