guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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