My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
