Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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