Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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