i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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