We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have aggressive nipples.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
