My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
