u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
