Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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