youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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