I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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