if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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