he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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