I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
