oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
