My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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