Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
