So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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