ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize