if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
