theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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