He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
