She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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