I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize