So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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