I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Come on in and take your pants off
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