i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
