i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
