You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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