She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she pinky promised me she was 18
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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