Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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