We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
