We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
