Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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