Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
