Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
