i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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