This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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