I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
