Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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