Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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