do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
