STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
