somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
