Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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