I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
