So drunk its hurt
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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