i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
