Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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