Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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