Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
