Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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