Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so let's talk penis.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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