The brown eye won't let me do that either.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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