he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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