I got chris browned last night
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
